Last Call For Appetizers

I remember when a good party only had two ingredients: a drink special and ladies free before 10 pm. When did fun get so complicated? Back in the day, my entire drop-it-like-it’s-hot outfit, including the cheap shoes from Kinney’s, cost less than I paid for a full body massage last weekend. Aqua boogie, baby. My Bootsy glasses shaped like stars? That was easy and enjoyable.
Now, the only party ingredient anyone my age cares about is the food. The gourmet cuisine. The five-course meal. Eating in the kitchen with the chef. Why? If I want to see food prepared, I’ll help my mom at Thanksgiving. Sample this delicacy. Did they have a buffet or a sit down dinner? Imagine how much shorter (and less expensive) fundraisers  would be if we weren’t forced to eat before we watch the video. How about we give our checks, hear one speaker for the worthy cause, and roll out? Don’t even bother with chairs or ties or raffles. Meet in the parking lot, keep the car running. Save ourselves and the organizers some time. Radical I know. A voice crying in the wilderness…last call! Last call for appetizers!