As we step into a new year, many of us set goals around our careers, finances, health, and productivity. We create vision boards, update planners, and map out ambitious next steps. But one of the most powerful growth areas often gets overlooked: our emotional regulation.
If you’ve ever wondered why you—or someone close to you—reacts with sudden anger, shuts down during conflict, or feels overwhelmed when pressure builds, you’re not alone. These reactions are rarely about the moment itself. They’re often rooted in something much deeper.
In a recent episode of my podcast, Perpetual mOetion, I sat down with Davina Hehn, coach and founder of A Steady Space, to talk about what she calls anger intelligence—the ability to understand, interpret, and respond to anger in a healthy, productive way.
One of the most powerful insights she shared is this:
Our emotional responses often reflect the age we were when we first learned to survive emotional stress.
When someone explodes in frustration, it can mirror the emotional capacity of a five- or six-year-old who never learned safe regulation. When someone shuts down or withdraws, that often mirrors preteen coping—silence as protection. These patterns don’t make us weak; they make us human.
The problem isn’t anger itself. Anger becomes harmful only when we don’t understand it.
Emotional Maturity Shapes Leadership
Whether you’re leading a team, raising children, managing clients, or navigating family dynamics, emotional regulation directly affects how well you communicate, collaborate, and recover from conflict.
When we recognize our emotional age—and the experiences that shaped it—we gain the power to respond rather than react. That awareness transforms leadership at work and connection at home.
Anger, when understood, becomes a source of information rather than an interruption. It reveals where boundaries were crossed, values were challenged, or needs went unmet.
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