Let’s start with the obvious. I’m no spring chicken. For example, I’m old enough to use that phrase “spring chicken” but too young to have any idea what that expression means. Okay. Now, I have to look it up. Squirrel! Shiny thing! BRB…
If you’re wondering also, here you go. Spring Chicken
Anyway, I am now very confident that, by definition, I am no spring chicken. I am a certified Boomer or as my grandson told me recently, “memOe, you’re old.” He was smiling when he said that as if he believes I can handle the truth. I thought about his statement a moment while the faces of a dozen “old’ people flashed through my mind. I thought of amazing, active people like Congresswoman Maxine Waters, Pastor Shirley “You Name It!” Caesar, Betty White, Peter Tuchman and Senator Bernie Sanders. Old is the new hip, I decided.
Yes, I’m old and I like old people. Not everyone likes old people. During the Christmas holidays, I saw an ad for an incredibly horrible game know as “Greedy Grandma.” WTH?! In this game, a white haired grandma is sitting in a rocker with a tray of cookies in her lap. Players try to steal the cookies without waking grandma. Seriously, we’re teaching children to steal from their grandmother? Wait for it. Yes, it gets worse. If you awaken the emaciated grandma, her arms and legs fly into the air as her ill fitting dentures fly out of her mouth. I kid you not! Who thinks it’s funny to startle an edentulous, old woman as she naps peacefully in her recliner? It’s bad enough reindeer are running over old ladies walking down the street, now it’s not safe to take a nap in the house. I am not making this up. Bashing seniors is a thing now.
I swear if I see one more list of “25 tragically uncool things baby boomers won’t let die” I am going to spit out my dentures! Why do you care if we like cruises, sending emails, and the news? How is this impacting your life? One list actually includes investing in retirement funds as a symptom of our uncoolness. In 2018, the stock market nodded off like Drake at a Kanye concert, but planning for the future is much cooler than bullying your grandmother.
Uncool? Us? Are you serious? Don’t answer. Send me an email. I’ll respond from the lido deck after Rachel Maddow goes off the air.
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