I just watched a special broadcast about Good Morning America anchor, Robin Roberts. She has persevered through not one but two bouts of life threatening illness with grace and optimism, inspiring me and millions of others. She was recalling the 30 days she spent in solitary during a recent hospitalization. Her immune system was so weak that she could not risk exposure to anyone beyond masked hospital personnel. She says she spent that time in reflection and prayer. I am sure that, like me, she has spent much of her life racing from fire to fire; sometimes for warmth but mostly to extinguish the flames. In retrospect, I realize that not all those fires were my responsibility and someone else would have put them out if I had paused long enough to give them the opportunity. Now, during my own self-reflection, I wish I could recall those minutes and credit them back to the span of my life. Like spilled milk, that spilled time is indeed wasted.
I wanted to share my regrets with a friend who recently confided that she is very angry at someone. So angry that she has not spoken to them in weeks. I didn’t understand what she was angry about but I’ve had my temperamental moments so who am I too judge her reaction? I simply asked her if the person knew she they upset her. She said, “No, I didn’t tell them.” I see that a lot from my very professional, adult acquaintances. Rather than engage in a conversation that could lead to conflict, they simply withdraw physically and emotionally. Pent up anger is similar to cancer. ( I have cancer so, yes, I would know). That instinctive emotion literally changes your body’s chemistry and grows into something life threatening when left untreated. Google it if by some chance you’ve missed the numerous articles and media stories on the subject.
From the backseat of your life, if I may offer a word of advice, either let it out or let it go.
Constructively let whomever offended you know that you have an issue with their actions/words or anonymously forgive them and move on. Keep your distance, if necessary, but let the mad-ness go. It they don’t know, they can’t care that they hurt you. Why compound that irony by hurting yourself?
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” – Katherine Ponder